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[ | April 8th 2006 @ 2:43am | | ] |
Copy and paste into word. Do a find/replace of u_should_loveme and replace with james' user name.
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[ | January 16th 2006 @ 8:58am | | ] |
Woah am I past due for an update. Where's my head been?
I've been spending time with Tyler, if any of you haven't met him yet, you should. He's a great guy. And, quite honestly, hot. ;)
Jimmy is in the hospital. Poor guy. But he's fine, other than a bit banged up. I swear my heart stopped when he called me, I was visiting him 10 minutes later. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost him, he is my best friend. We're good, Jimmy and me. We're able to talk about just about anything with each other, and not have awkward tension between us anymore. Though, he said I was like a sister he never had - apparently Jimmy is a sick man and thinks brothers are supposed to get their sisters pregnant =P
Well I think I might stop by and visit him again, call Paige later on, and hopefully hang out with Tyler. I'm going to go find Marco and see if he wants to visit Jimmy with me. Later guys!
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| Mya's First Christmas! |
[ | December 30th 2005 @ 12:34pm | | ] |
Christmas was wonderful this year. With it being Mya's first christmas and all. Sure she's a little young to truly get into christmas, but still, it was my baby's first christmas!! I spoiled her rotten.
Jimmy came back from his trip. apparently more drama with ash, what else is new I am glad he's back. I missed him. I think we're going to do okay as friends. He is my best friend, really, other than Paige who will always be my BFF. He bought mya and I these gorgeous necklaces with our name on them. I haven't taken mine off.
I've been so lucky to be watching Ciera. The two girls are so cute together. Definately gonna grow up to be just like Paige and I - minus the getting pregnant in highschool. BFF in the making, totally.
I met up with Tyler at the Dot yesterday. He seems like a pretty cool cat. haha I said cool cat, I'm such a dork. Hopefully we'll get to spend some more time together =) I know that moving to a new school can be tough but Toronto is great and so is Degrassi. So you'll love it, I am sure.
Anyway, I'm going to go see if Marco is awake. Apparently moving in here and becoming a Del Rossi didn't mean I'd see him more. He's having some family problems, especially with Papa Del Rossi. So I'm gonna go see if he's alright. Don't worry, brother =), he'll come around and realize you are the same guy you've always been - wonderful!
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| Everyone else did it... |
[ | December 21st 2005 @ 1:34am | | ] |
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Post an anonymous comment about me. Pour out your heart, tell me anything at all, it's up to you. Tell me a story, a joke, a poem, whatever you want. Tell me something about you, something about me, something about people in general. Tell me anything, everything, nothing. Ready, set, go!
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[ | December 18th 2005 @ 6:17pm | | ] |
Ciera and Mya are so cute, I brought Mya to Paige's so they could have a playdate. I can already tell it was the start of a great friendship.
Jimmy is going to call me when he gets back so I can pick him up from the airport. I miss having him around, even as just a friend, so I can't wait for him to come.
I offered to watch Ciera for a week so Paige and Craig can go off somewhere to rekindle the flame, trust me I know first hand how hard relationships get once there is a baby taking up your time. It will be like their first sleepover. Hah.
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[ | December 7th 2005 @ 6:27pm | | ] |
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So Jimmy came over the other day and we ended up kissing. He tells me, that like me, he misses us. So I tell him last night we should do something about it. You know what he says "I don't know".
I realized something. I realized that I am NOT going to wait around on someone who "doesn't know" all the time. Screw it. I'm not going to hold on to something that will never be. I'm not going to continually fall in love with a guy who won't give in to what could be. I'm not going to be hung up on someone not willing to take the risk and the chance to see where we lead.
Basically, Jimmy Brooks is a free man as far as I'm concerned. Ladies, if you want him, he's yours. If I learned anything from losing my entire family in one night its that life is too short to be wasted, and you arent even gauranteed a tomorrow. So why waste my life holding on to someone that won't let himself love you back.
So much like my public announcement when I first got this journal that I needed Jimmy Brooks in my life. This is mine letting the whole world know, that I am too good to waste my life waiting on someone who may never let himself be with me.
If its over... then its over.
And... it is.
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[ | November 28th 2005 @ 8:17pm | | ] |
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I have some horrible news, but also some good news...
First... lets talk the horrible news - the reason I haven't been seen by anyone in awhile, the reason I stopped going to Degrassi again after returning 1/2 way through this semester. About three weeks now, my parents and my younger sister, Honey, were hit by a drunk driver... They died. My whole family. I just... its... I haven't stopped crying. The last thing I told my parents was something a long the line as "i hate you" when I moved out to live with the Del Rossi's. I was waiting at my house for them to come home, I had shown up to apologize and make amends, and... the cops showed up and told me. I just... I can't... I can't believe they are gone. My mom and dad and sis all at once. And I never got to say sorry.
Now the... good - more like bittersweet. I was going to have to go through foster care and crap because I'm a minor, and then Mya would be seperated from me (she could have stayed with her daddy though, at least I think so)... But the Del Rossis adopeted me. I am now Hazel Lynne Aden Del Rossi. Its a mouthful, I know. But it felt like the right way to do it. of course someday I hope its shortened to Hazel Lynne Brooks... I hope.
And yeah, thats been my life. Mya is doing great. She loves being here with me, and she loves going to her daddy's. You should see them together... it just makes me fall more in love with the man I'm not sure I can have
Marco took me to see the movie Rent to help take my mind off of everything. I cried like a baby in it, but that figures considering everything.
No one knew about my family, I chose not to tell anyone. Jimmy hasn't even heard yet. Just the Del Rossis and now everyone through this. Of course if you read the paper I'm sure you heard about it 3 weeks ago, or if you read the Obits. I'm sure Paige will be mad I didn't tell her, because I know she would have wanted to attend the memorial with me. But.. I couldn't talk about it. It hurts too much
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[ | November 11th 2005 @ 11:27pm | | ] |
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((Hazel and Trey will be MIA for a week due to the fact my computer is being fixed. If you see me online however, feel free to IM me. I'm gonna use the computer lab when possible lol))
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[ | November 6th 2005 @ 10:01am | | ] |
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Anyone seen Jimmy lately? If so can you tell him I miss him and I'm ready to work things out if he wants to...
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[ | October 23rd 2005 @ 11:12pm | | ] |
FUCK IT. I'm just going to say whats on my mind.
I FUCKING MISS JIMMY BROOKS.
Oh and the Del Rossi's want to adopt me, and I love the idea and them so much. Just got things to think about first.
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[ | October 8th 2005 @ 10:09pm | | ] |
So Guess where I'm livng now. At Marcos! Its great because I love Marco and his parents. Papa Del Rossi gives the BEST bear hugs... ever. And have you had Mama Del Rossi's cooking. So delicious. And the best part? MARCO! That crazy cat is always fun to be around and knows how to make a friend smile.
I still miss Jimmy Brooks with all my heart. The other day I saw him and Dani at the park. The pang of jealousy was strong. I just wanted to kiss him and make him mine again. But who knows whats going on in his head. If anyone knows, someone want to tell me?!
I also got a phone call from Star. She's still in Vegas with Trey. THEY GOT MARRIED! SOO CUTE! But I can't tell anyone and its soo hard not to tell. Its adorable! We talked for a few minutes about her and Trey and then about Jimmy. She says he told her he misses me. I wish he would tell me that.
And uh... thats about it. Later loves!
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[ | October 5th 2005 @ 9:01am | | ] |
I don't have much to update with. Spending a lot of time thinking lately. Jimmy told me he doesn't love me anymore, becuase if he had he would have never kissed Manny. HELLO? That's called alcohol, hun, but what the fuck ever. I wish I knew how to just stop loving someone.
Marco helped me out with a pint of Ben and Jerry's. Thanks, Marco! It helped me a lot.
Sean watched Mya the other day so Jimmy and I could go to a rave, although he kind of got discouraged no one else but me wanted to go. Damian and Mya are cute little playmates :)
A couple days later I went over to Sean and Ellie's place to get out of the house. Ellie wasn't home so Sean and I just hung out and talked while our babies played. I know Sean and I haven't spent much time together for a long time, until now, but I can tell something's bothering him. I just wished he would be able to tell me. Sean is a great guy, he deserves to be happy. But I can tell he's hiding something.
Ran into Amy at the park the other day. Apparently she lives with Jimmy now. was it just me or did it seem like she had a bigger attitude than usual. Jimmy and Dani were also there...uh yeah, seeing him act the way with Dani how he used to with me... that hurt. I miss him. I love him. But I guess I should just get over it.
I'm going into talk to Ms. H. about a few things. One being me returning to Degrassi. I've been doing real good keeping up at home and all, but I miss being around my friends. I have Mya during the week and both my parents work, so thats why I've been staying home still. I just realized the other day that I pretty much gave up my whole life for Jimmy when we decided to have Mya. And I want a bit of it back. I want my friends back. I want to be on the spirit squad again. I want to have fun again, outside the realm of mommyhood. I can no longer justify giving up my whole life to make Jimmy happy because he doesn't love me anymore and I guess he probably never will again. So I need to become a whole Hazel again, without my other half
So I did some research for Ms. H about opening up a daycare at Degrassi. It had never been that much of an issue before. But now, there's Damian and Mya... and another little one on the way this year, at least I think. Paige, sweetie, you're still having the baby right? So it would have at least a little bit of use. Ms. H okayed the daycare, I just had to get all the research and stuff done for it, and take it back up to her. It should start next week.
Its free... Our kids will be watched for the time being, by teachers during their free periods, those teachers that want to. Ms H will be hiring a teacher specific for the daycare and it will be worked into the curriculum so students can sign up for Childcare - those who are interested in going to a child related field can get experience - and they will be the ones watching the kids. Yeah that's what I've been workin on.
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[ | September 26th 2005 @ 9:28pm | | ] |
Jimmy.... and i.... we.... broke up.
I can't stop crying. I love him so much and he says he doesn't know if he loves me anymore. Where did I go wrong?
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[ | September 21st 2005 @ 8:47pm | | ] |
Jimmy and the baby have been taken up all my time, not that I'm complaining. But seriously, we need to have a party because I miss my friends. So my mom and dad agreed to babysit once Jimmy and I find a day to have one. We'll let you know.
Oh and I got a new AIM: Cant Be Brok3n.
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[ | September 16th 2005 @ 8:30am | | ] |
Mya is so precious. She's such a cutie. I love her soooo much. And I love being here with Jimmy. A house, a baby, a puppy, each other. Its perfect. I wouldn't change a thing.
Ok so I would change one thing. I'd have more of a social life. It seems like my friends have all but forgotten about me lately
I tried talking to Ash the other day and apologizing for what happened in Rhode Island. I dunno if it went okay or not, but at least I said it. Its not eating me up inside anymore. I just don't want her to feel uncomfortable anytime Jimmy might invite her over or what not. I don't want bad blood between us, although, with our history, its kind of hard to not have bad blood.
Star called me the other day, so I went to her house while Jimmy was playing with Mya. She was upset about some fight she and Trey got into. So we talked and then went and found him. They fought even more. So I played mediator and talked some sense into him, which did take hitting him upside the head for being stupid. But I think I got through to him.
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[ | September 10th 2005 @ 4:51pm | | ] |
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I'm so depressed. But I guess its normal. El, did you have the whole post-partum-blues? Its sucks. I don't think it helps that I'm at home and not with my friends. I'm keeping up on school work and all, but my extended time at home has cut into my social life. The only person I ever see is Jimmy. I love Jimmy sooo much, I do, but I just want to have my friends back. So PLEASE someone give me a call or stop by!
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[ | August 29th 2005 @ 10:26am | | ] |
Mya Rose Brooks
Our little angel was born on August 28th at 11:25 pm. She was 7 lbs 0 ozs and 20 inches long. She was a couple weeks early, not enough to be considered premature though. However, the last thing that devlops in a baby is skin color which is why she's so light. The doctors said she will proabably be somewhere between mine and Jimmy's skin tones by her 2nd birthday. She's got my nose and ears and his eyes and lips, lol. A little cutie pie.
The birth went smoothly without complications, so Mya and I are at home with Jimmy already. But lucky me, I get to stay out of school for a few more months, with the whole maternity leave thing. Unlucky for me, Jimmy brings home my homework every week and I have to do take home tests/quizzes and all that until I'm back in school with you guys..
But seriously you all need to get your butts over here becasue Mya is precious! Ellie and Sean, you need to bring Damian over so he can meet his future wife. LOL.
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[ | August 25th 2005 @ 6:55pm | | ] |
The other day Jimmy walked our puppy, which I love and adore by the way, and I was bored. I called Paige. She was at the beach so I walked there. I ran into Star and Trey and Sara. Then I started to not feel so well so I tried to walk home but ended up stopping at my parents because I couldn't make it. They rushed me to the hospital, but don't worry I'm okay. They put me on a pill for the rest of my pregancy to keep me from going into labor early and told me I'm on bed rest. So yeah. no leaving the house for me. :( But me and the baby are fine so don't worry, just pleeeeease come visit.
I LOVE YOU JIMMY! Mya's gonna be here soon :)
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[ | August 22nd 2005 @ 3:06pm | | ] |
Post anonymously 5 questions. I don't care what they are or how personal they are. Nothing is out of limits!
Do it! :)
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